It all began with the blessing of an illness that to this day shakes my world every time I think about it. I never thought I would be so thankful to walk through a day knowing that the hope I have was given to me through this illness by the Creator of hope Himself. Without going into the details, I will abruptly say that how I thought I knew God before is actually very opposite of how I know Him now. And praise God for that.
Patience.
You know, this is still not a word that completely resonates with me. I had, for a lack of a better term, NEVER been known to be patient as a child, especially in recent years. Well, let’s face it; I still have no sure idea of how to be patient. I suppose my anxious and anticipant personality have a lot to take credit for this, but I also think it’s my inner selfishness wanting to take control of my life. I mean, who doesn’t want to have the “perfect” picture of something handed to them in an instant without having to work or wait for it? The real world has taught me that my spoiled self is very wrong in this thinking. VERY wrong.
Dr. Eric Holleyman is now one of the wisest and most complicated human beings I have ever met. As my Christian Scriptures professor this semester, he has had the important task of teaching over 200 students the entire Old and New Testament, as well as the history of the Hebrew Bible and the foundations of its existence all in one 15-week semester. Not an easy task my friends. Not only has Dr. Holleyman taught this class, as well as many others, absolutely incredibly, but he has also put up with my many questions over the last few weeks. And I must say, he has certainly put me in my place when I needed it most. And not a bitter put in your place, more like a reassurance that no matter how many questions I come up with, he can most certainly provide an answer, even one that doesn’t fulfill the question asked. The most surprising thing Dr. Holleyman has taught me is that sometimes we as humans, and more specifically as believers, are meant to come to terms with the fact that we don’t know. As confusing as this sounds, it was exactly what I needed to hear when it came to the testing of my patience and self-control. Of all the spiritual gifts, I have never expected to desire these as much as I do now in my life, and I pray continually that God could bless me with them. As for Dr. Holleyman’s statement, I pray that we all as humans could rest in the peace that we cannot know or explain everything because we simply were never meant to.
Isaiah 35:10 - "And the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."
I leave you with this verse I came across in an effort to understand praise for the Father with true joy that I have so longed for since I began school at Baylor last Fall. With all of the exciting things happening in the lives of those around me as well as my own, it is easy to rejoice with them and praise our Maker for these blessings. But, as I have encountered, it is not made as easy when life hits a huge bump in the road. God has faithfully led me to understand how much He loves me and how every single one of His promises will not fail to be made true. He paid the price for any and every sin in this world, and He still allows us to choose between Him and this world. If that doesn’t define true love, then I have no idea what will. I know His plan for my life will continue to bring challenges, emptiness, love, faithfulness, and direction and I long to run hard in this race toward Him.
As the Lord spoke to Job in a whirlwind, I know He is speaking to this generation and all believers asking us to move. The question is do we have the patience to let Him move in us. Let us lift our hands and fall on our faces for Him and praise the One who has us all in His hands. For without this knowledge, we would be in a whirlwind of trouble.
‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!’ -2 Corinthians 5:17
