For now, I’d like to remember some monumental moments in my personal life over the past year, for I know these same moments affected many other than myself.
Godspell- Most certainly one of my favorite memories of high school. Meeting some incredibly talented people is one thing, but to be able to combine with their God-given talents to create a beautiful and comical piece of art is a blessing I’m still not sure I deserved. Every single person involved will forever have a memory ingrained in my heart, which is more than I can say about most things in my life. I still struggle with every bit of that play, and for the most part I have learned to think about it when I want a good laugh to myself or even a simple reminder as to why I auditioned for it in the first place. Godspell put what I believe into such a strange perspective and I wrestled with it for months, but God used that play full of us crazy high schoolers to teach me that acting like I know who God is and what He has done for me and truly knowing God are very different things. Godspell also allowed for me to step back into my lost childhood dream of acting. (I guess all of my re-interpretations of Pocahontas as a child were not put to waste.) I appreciate any sort of actor much more now than before, and I must say I understand why professionals are paid as well as they are. It is crazy to think that the God who designed all of creation could be praised in such a way as this play. All in all Godspell will remain as one of the recollections that I will most certainly tell my children one day when they ask what kinds of shenanigans I entered into during high school. I also most certainly will NOT sing “Day By Day” ever again… ☺
TMEA All-State- One of my greatest goals, finally accomplished. Looking back, it is definitely one of the best examples of my life of never giving up on something you are passionate about. I’m still not sure why I cared so much about this singing competition and its grueling rehearsals and hours of sitting in a room with hundreds of other students who are prepared to sing the exact same pieces of music as you are. But I suppose it all comes with the territory of fully committing to a lifestyle as a choir nerd. And I am so very thankful for God instilling in me the drive it took to achieve what once felt like a far-fetched goal. The experience at the actual convention was absolutely incredible and I know that I will never receive an opportunity like that again in my life. So to anyone who ever wishes to participate in this unique competition I say-DO IT! It is totally worth it in the end.
Graduation- One of the days that I honestly can’t believe came and went as quickly as it did. It was almost as if I had built up in my mind this monumental day in my life, but it felt like the commencement of what my heart had been so ready for 8 long months so it was almost a day of relief. Okay, so I’m a little dramatic when it comes to wanting my senior year of high school to end, but seriously you’d have thought each graduate would receive fireworks spelling out our names for all the hype this ceremony was receiving. Yes the fireworks for the Centennial Celebration for the 100th graduating class were lovely, but somehow crying with all of my fellow choir-nerd friends as we sang the Benediction one last time was much more memorable than crossing the stage and being handed a fake diploma. I prayed throughout the entire ceremony for the students who crossed the stage, knowing that God has a special plan for all of their lives. But, when it was all over and I had cried my last tear, I was excited for the summer to begin and for all of my friends’ lives to disperse and make the world diversely great like I know it was intended to be. I am thankful for all of my family who attended the very long ceremony and, like all monumental memories, I will never forget it.
Trips to New Mexico- For some odd reason both of the church youth choir and high school mission trips to this very under-appreciated state really messed with my heart. The first trip to Gallup and then to Albuquerque with the youth choir was not what I expected, in a very good way. We had the chance to meet and help people who dedicated their lives to follow the will of the Lord. I will admit, I was a bit skeptical about this particular trip because what do you hear about the people of New Mexico really? But I left wondering if I would ever fully understand the people who live in that truly beautiful state, and praying that someday my path could cross with theirs once again. Little did I know that my heading back to New Mexico a few short weeks after the youth choir trip would mean an even greater growth of compassion and meaning of that state in my life. A group of about 35 of us high schoolers and adult leaders headed to Santa Fe near the end of July to work with an amazing group of men who pastor and have placed their hearts into Blaze Christian church in the city. Absolutely amazing is just a small way to describe how I felt as I was there with our group who basically re-painted the entire church in less than 3 days. Not only that but we did it with the combined efforts of the small church staff-who are incredibly faithful and Godly men I must add. Santa Fe has always had a special place in my heart, and during those moments of stress and fatigue in that church, I almost saw a glimpse as to why. I know it all sounds crazy and confusing now but there is something brewing between God and myself for that very beautiful and spiritually dark city. I must say another great aspect of that trip was the time spent at the Glorieta campsite, which is about 20 miles from Santa Fe. We stayed there in a church cabin, ate at the dining hall, shoveled mud in the rain from behind a house set on a hill, and made so many memories that will perhaps never fade from my mind. Although these two week long trips may not have seemed impact-ful at the time, the Lord thankfully kept them in my heart and on my mind long enough to realize that while I thought I was given the opportunity to bless others, they were in turn blessing me. So thank you Blaze staff and Gallup community for teaching me the most important lesson: Giving yourself won’t ever be enough until what you’re giving of yourself is God’s love.
Completion of my first semester of college- Can I just say, thank you to everyone who lied when telling me that college is the greatest time of your life. Well, okay, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. I enjoyed my classes, which is rare to hear a student say, and I honestly am anxious to learn more about the wonderful complexity that is music. College is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries I have encountered in my very short-lived life; A mystery that I have prayed and begged for strong-will to figure out within the next three and a half years. Moving away was not easy; neither was making friends and finding a place that even remotely felt like home. But I would not have had my first semester been any other way. Looking back, I almost enjoyed the moments when I felt at my worst because that meant that every other moment had the potential to be made better. It grew me, in a sense. In most certainty it grew me closer to the always faithful Father who gave me every blessing of a friendship and quiet moment during those four months. He remained the One who I talked to and could rely on to listen day in and day out. He also knew me through and through when I felt like there was not one person around me who had any idea what I was saying or thinking. God truly became what I had always confessed Him to be, which is my best friend. And that is where I want Him to stay. He blessed my life by allowing me to meet and build relationships-however small they are- with some incredibly amazing people. And I know that this next semester will only provide me with more of those opportunities.
These are just a taste of the hundreds of memories I wish to write down on paper about the year 2010, but I am certain if I continued on for much longer no one would wish to read this blog ever again. So for now I leave a short paragraph with my goals and “resolutions” for this blessed New Year:
I intend whole-heartedly to live every moment with an attitude of servanthood and selflessness. Kind of a scary-bold statement, to be honest. How I am going to accomplish this, I am still not sure. But after many hours of praying, thinking and dwelling on who this complex young woman is that the Lord wants me to be, I am most certain that sacrificing myself for His sake is up there on the list. I wish I could explain exactly what this selflessness intends to look like, but of that I cannot be sure. I just know that I have missed many opportunities to grow as a believer because my life seemed more important at the time. No doubt I will continue to work hard in school and delve into one of my greatest passions that is music, but I know now that is just one part of what God has planned for me. So in these next upcoming blogs, I hope to write a few less “I”, “me”, and “my” and a few more of who God is and how He has revealed Himself into my life and to those around me. I also intend to explore how my body and mind can combine in a healthful sense to be made better. I can only be as useful as I allow myself to be, and by being lazy I know a difference I wish to see cannot be accomplished. I hope and pray to look back at the year 2011 and have too many monumental memories to recount as I have had in the year 2010. But for now I leave you with this photo that
speaks more to me than the past 1862 words of this blog have before it. 
