Week 2 in a Foreign State of Mind

Bonjour again from the city of lights!! It is day 12 of my visit, and it is hard to believe I have almost completed half of my time here in the beautiful city of Paris! I feel as though everything is going by so quickly, yet each day is long and filled with many adventures and wonderful memories. I have been so stunned at the amount of love and kindness shared among the Baylor in Paris group, specifically among the girls, and I know these are friendships I will be so excited to continue when we return to Baylor.
Now onto the past week's events :)

Last Monday was the first full day I was able to share with Erin and our friend Holly in the city. After class we decided to visit the beautiful church from the 19th century called the Sacré-Coeur in the district of Montmartre. It is a massive monument dedicated to the saints and apostles of Christ, but also boasts a large depiction of Christ surrounded by the saints and apostles on its ceiling. The large dome is viewable from all across the city, and the climb to the top allows for one of the most amazing views of the city. I particularly liked being able to sit in its large and quiet space and reflect while looking at and taking in how beautifully it is designed on the inside. Unfortunately they don't allow pictures on the inside, but Erin, Holly and I were able to take some great ones from the outside :)

On Tuesday Erin, Holly and I decided to take a break from the typical tourist spots and visit a quieter quartier of the city called Marais where the apartment of Victor Hugo is located. This was especially interesting and exciting for me and Erin as we are going to see the musical of Les Miserables in London this coming weekend! We also took a little break and ate some delicious ice cream and did a little shopping among the many boutiques in the quartier.


Wednesday and Thursday were filled with a large amount of French history as the entire Baylor in Paris group visited four of the large Chateaux in the Loire Valley. We drove by bus about two hours south of Paris to visit the Chateaux of Cheverny, Chambord, Blois, and Chenonceau. Each one was immersed in hundreds of years of history of the monarchy of France, and it was interesting to hear how each was used during the reign of the monarchs in the 16th to the 19th centuries. Honestly, it was almost too much information for me to completely absorb, but I appreciated the elaborate architecture and the grandeur that each enormous castle contained, and I think that itself is enough for me :)


After class on Friday, a group of the girls and I decided to visit the underground Catacombes. I was not too thrilled to be descending far beneath the streets of Paris to see a lot of old human bones of past Parisians, however I knew it would be an experience worth having. There are no words to explain the sight of over 6 million past Parisian's bones all stacked neatly in organized piles throughout the underground tunnels, but it was definitely a humbling and slightly creepy experience.


Friday night needed some livening up after our experience at the Catacombes, so the same group of girls and I decided to share a small picnic underneath the Eiffel Tower so we could watch it sparkle with it's light show at around 11pm. I am so thankful that I am able to share memories with such sweet girls, and I think that night will be one of my favorite memories of Paris.


On Saturday Erin, Holly and I met up with our friends Laura and Melissa and walked the Champs-Élysées and the Arc de Triomphe. Although it was my second time to visit that area and monument, I am glad I decided to visit it again because it definitely led to many laughs and another beautiful daytime view of the city. That night the group of girls and I scheduled a bike tour of the city with the Fat Tire Bike Tour company. I absolutely loved relaxing and getting a little exercise while touring the city and seeding some of the most beautiful and historical monuments, all within four hours. I would recommend this company and this tour to anyone visiting Paris in the future, and Erin and I might schedule a tour with them while we are in London.


Sunday was a more relaxed day as Erin, Holly and I decided to head the the Opera Bastille to get an excellent discount on student priced tickets for the opera Barber of Seville. We arrived at the opera about an hour and a half before it began and received tickets on the eighth row from the stage in the middle of the auditorium. I'm not usually the bragging type, but these seats were absolutely incredible all for the low price of 30€, which is extremely low considering that our seats would have normally run for around 180€. I loved the opera and the experience, and I know Erin and I fully appreciated being able to see what we are studying at Baylor come to life before us.


This week has already been a full and tiring one with more classes at the school at Parsons to help us learn the French language to the best of our ability, and visits around the city and to Versailles. This week is a short week in terms of classes and Erin and I will head to London on Thursday for a long weekend of more sight-seeing and taking in a bit of British culture.

Until I write again here are some of my favorite pictures of this week's events :)
Tout mon amour,
Emily

Je suis une Parisienne!!

Bonjour and welcome to Paris!!! I have officially arrived and spent the past 3 days here in the wonderful city of lights! Paris is all that I could have imagined and more, and each day I have woken up and cannot believe that this is real life. The streets are busy day and night with hundreds of thousands of Parisians and tourists alike; and I have fallen in love with every bit of it! The people, the fashion, the food, the entertainment, the culture itself; all of which are truly fascinating to absorb as I find my way through this marvelous city. Pictures and words cannot do the experience justice, but I hope to give all of you a good taste of what life is really like in Paris over the next few weeks. I also hope every one of you can come experience this incredible city of history someday as well!

The plane flight was quite uneventful, as you can imagine a 10 hour flight would be. (Although I have to admit, the airplane food and the free movies are not half bad! Way to go, AirFrance!) By the time my Baylor in Paris group had arrived we were all so excited to finally be here that jet lag was not even an option! Customs was a bit scary, but no worries, they let me into the country without any questions :)

We are finally in PARIS!!!
These are my new friends: Holly, Alexandria and Tiffany!

After taking a 45 minute taxi ride into the city, I finally found my adorable apartment that I am sharing with Erin for the month. Ma famille d'acceuil (my host family) is a wonderful woman named Madame Odile Linyer and her husband Jean-Pierre. They live in a very nice neighborhood on the west side of the city and it only takes about 15-20 minutes by metro to reach the neighborhood where the school we are using for Baylor in Paris is located. The school itself is only a few blocks from the Eiffel Tower and the neighborhood is full of cute little shops, cafés and bakeries! The school is an art and design school so it is almost like a mini museum of photography and sculptures all around.

Having my first cafe experience with Kerri!

On Saturday we had our first day of class and our first outing as a group into the Latin Quarter! I could have spent all day in la marchée de la puce (the flea market) and Le Jardin du Luxembourg (Luxembourg Garden) which is a large and beautiful park that was made to be used by students just like me! It is full of places to walk, play chess, sunbathe, and just relax while studying. (My favorite thing there was the view of the Musée du Luxembourg, which is a GORGEOUS building full of history.)

In front of a gorgeous fountain in the gardens.

Enjoying the sun in Le Jardin du Luxembourg!

After dinner on Saturday, I visited the Champs-Élysées with my fellow music major friend, Kerri, and her Paris roommate Erin. We climbed every single step to the top of the L'Arc de Triomphe and were able to see the most stunning night view of Paris. It literally took my breath away as I saw all of the vastness of the city and all of the large monuments that are placed throughout it. As I said earlier, pictures and words will never do the view justice.

In front of L'Arc de Triomphe

Only one small part of the amazing view from the top of  L'Arc de Triomphe!

This morning Kerri, her roommate Erin and I had planned to attend a service at the Notre Dame cathedral but we arrived too late so we decided to wait in line to climb to the top of the towers. And when I say climb, I literally mean climb. We took so many spiral staircases to reach the top that it's a wonder we all don't have extremely toned legs by now! The daytime view of the city from the top was so beautiful and I was simply in awe of the grandeur of the cathedral itself and its intricate design. After learning so much from my music history class this past semester about the music that originated from the cathedral, I got goosebumps as we walked by every stained glass window and gargoyle that decorates the large cathedral. I hope to go back next weekend to attend a Mass and to receive a full walking tour inside!

I think this picture speaks for itself.

Such a beautiful view of the city from one of the lookout points on the cathedral!

The beautiful city of Paris is just behind us!

Me and Erin in front of Notre Dame's three front entrances.

I only added this picture because I thought it was hilarious that this
gargoyle is eating off a tiny demon's head.
Please don't call me twisted :)

As the day is coming to a close and I sit in the quaint living room of our apartment I am humbled and thankful that I have the opportunity to see and experience everything here. This is something I had never imagined myself doing and I can't wait to share many other exciting and beautiful things with all of you! Tomorrow we begin our regularly scheduled classes and will take an overnight trip to the Loire valley later this week with the Baylor in Paris group! Until I write again next Sunday, bon voyage!

Sand, Sun, Singing and a few Sunburns

Since turning 20 I have had very few moments of realization that I have now begun a fun stage of young-adulthood that exists for everyone to be able to laugh a lot, have a little crazy fun and just enjoy the perks of being young and free.

This past weekend was the first time I have been able to spend a weekend out of town with all of my wonderful friends from school here at Baylor! Thanks to the fact that four of my friends share birthdays on May 19 and May 22, by the suggestion of one of my best friends Austen we decided to head south to the Texas coast in Galveston! We were all so thankful to stay at our best friend Marcie's BEAUTIFUL house for the weekend where we shared many laughs, lots of food and, regrettably, a few sunburns :D We spent Friday evening and all day on Saturday in Galveston doing what we do best: enjoying each others' company and just being ourselves, which made for a wonderful reunion before parting ways again for the summer.

Friday evening consisted of dinner at a yummy hamburger place called Cafe Michael Burger and relishing in the fact that we were all reunited again since the culmination of school earlier this month.

Austen showing off his yummy burger and Erin showing off, well, her lettuce.. :D

After dinner we took a little stroll on the beach and played a hilarious game of Apples to Apples. (That game can get pretty intense, but thankfully we all knew we would still be friends once it was over :) )

Early on Saturday morning I decided to join my friends Solange, Daniel, and Zane for a walk/run on the beach. Since Zane and I aren't exactly the most avid of runners, we decided to take a walk while Daniel and Solange enjoyed an intense run. The sunrise was so gorgeous that morning and the tide was high, so Zane and I relished in the warmth of the start of a beautiful day with our walk. (I'm trying to make myself become more active by walking once or twice a day, and this vacation was not going to stop me! Hehe :) )

Beautiful sunrise

Zane and I decided to stretch before our intense walk ;)

 

 

 

After a delicious breakfast of pancakes made by my roomie Amy and her boyfriend Kevin, we all headed to the beach until lunchtime! It was the most perfect and gorgeous day of not too hot but just warm enough temperatures and the beach was hardly visited by many more people besides ourselves. I swam for quite a while (which reminded me of how much I used to swim as a kid), and many of us laid out on the beach and played a game of frisbee. Austen and Zane decided to build a sand castle, which actually formed into a mini masterpiece! I learned from my friend Daniel how to skim-board (which didn't work out too well), and even Shelby, one of my best friends and his girlfriend, and Austen gave it a whirl! Besides blaming the beach for what led to some very painful sunburns, I could have spent most of the day there. There is just something about being connected to the water and its natural beauty that few other things can compare to. All in all, Saturday morning was what I could describe as a little piece of perfection :)

All of us on the beach!

These girls are so precious to me

Daniel teaching me how to skim-board!

Zane with his(and Austen's) sand castle!

Laying out on the beach!

After lunch we stayed at Marcie's house and spent more time in the sun, on one of the decks in the shade, and I even went kayaking with Zane! Dinner was especially delicious and we ate dessert in celebration of the four birthdays in our friend group. Of course we spent a lot of our time during the weekend singing, as almost all of us are vocal music majors, but Saturday night's escapade of singing on the beach will most definitely be one of my favorite memories from this weekend.

Dinner with our after-sun glows

The GORGEOUS sunset to end the day!

Three of the four birthday celebrators!

We departed early Sunday morning, and I was sad to part ways with all of the people that I have grown to love as my family at Baylor. This weekend came and went in a flash, but we all decided it will be the first of many similar trips in the future :)

I have been so blessed to have developed such incredible relationships with each and every one of the friends I enjoyed Galveston with this weekend. They teach me to stay young, happy and to take each moment and savor it forever. Love all of you, my music major family, and happy birthday to you Erin, Marcie, Austen and Shelby!!

Oh, and here's a street that is just a few blocks from Marcie's house in Galveston that is named after yours truly :) Guess this weekend was meant to be!

Can't wait to begin sharing all of my favorite moments in Paris with you next month! Stay tuned for a blog next week on the stresses(and joys) of packing for Europe!!

An Experience of a Lifetime!

In the spirit of summer and the celebration of the end of another semester, it is officially time for me to start using this blog again. A small face lift was in order for the page itself, but now is the time for the important reasoning for my writing again. In order to respectfully jump back into blogging I have found one absolutely incredible reason to revive my days of authorship via the internet: I am going to PARIS!!! And yes, I do mean Paris, France not Paris, Texas...
During the month of June I will be studying abroad with the Baylor in Paris program which allows me to perfect my French and gain a little (or a lot) of insight into European culture, while also completing my foreign language credit for my degree :) This is a trip I have been praying about, spent all of last summer saving money for and have eagerly been anticipating since October. Needless to say, I am SO EXCITED!!!

Throughout the month of June I will be writing a weekly (sometimes bi-weekly) post in order to share some of my favorite moments of my trip with all of you, my friends and family, back home! I am still in awe that I have received this incredible opportunity to take in the culture in another part of the world, and I know this is going to be a life changing experience. (Not to mention that I also have the huge blessing of sharing the experience with my best friend, Erin!) Erin and I intend to conquer some great self-defined obstacles, will try not to go into a coffee, bread and wine comatose, learn way more about French art and theater than we will ever really need to know and countless other memory-making experiences that I can't wait to share with everyone! Don't worry, I will also be sharing TONS of pictures with you thanks to my amazing parents who invested in a very nice camera so that I can document almost every moment with digital clarity :)

As I have been praying through what some of my personal intentions will be during the trip, I realized that one of my greatest expectations is to learn to appreciate the history that God has written for this world over several centuries. As I learned through my music history class of Ancient Music to the year 1600 and my Christian Heritage class, Paris is an extremely important site of history that helped shape and define the faith that I now claim as my own, even centuries after it was being shaped in Paris. I know through exploring the many sites of Paris that I will most definitely return home as a more humbled believer. Plus, who doesn't want to appreciate all of the art, architecture, music, entertainment and the sheer Parisian aspects of Paris?! And don't worry, I'll make sure I have a little fun from time to time ;)

As a reader, be expecting some eye-opening, jaw-dropping and even some humbling images and words to come from this blog in the next 8 weeks. I know I definitely will be :)

Until I write about the joys and struggles of packing...
Emily

A Whirlwind If There Ever Was One

It is safe to say that the past two and a half months have been some of the most challenging and exciting moments of my life. I have been known to make a lot of absolute statements that, while making them, I meant whole-heartedly. But the first sentence of this post is absolutely a statement that I cannot relate to many other moments of my life. Let me just begin by saying that the Lord is ultimately the author of all of this wonder and He is worthy of all the glory. He has shown me how to allow Him to become the true Master and Protector in my life while humbling me to be worthy of His Divine direction.

It all began with the blessing of an illness that to this day shakes my world every time I think about it. I never thought I would be so thankful to walk through a day knowing that the hope I have was given to me through this illness by the Creator of hope Himself. Without going into the details, I will abruptly say that how I thought I knew God before is actually very opposite of how I know Him now. And praise God for that.

Patience.

You know, this is still not a word that completely resonates with me. I had, for a lack of a better term, NEVER been known to be patient as a child, especially in recent years. Well, let’s face it; I still have no sure idea of how to be patient. I suppose my anxious and anticipant personality have a lot to take credit for this, but I also think it’s my inner selfishness wanting to take control of my life. I mean, who doesn’t want to have the “perfect” picture of something handed to them in an instant without having to work or wait for it? The real world has taught me that my spoiled self is very wrong in this thinking. VERY wrong.

Dr. Eric Holleyman is now one of the wisest and most complicated human beings I have ever met. As my Christian Scriptures professor this semester, he has had the important task of teaching over 200 students the entire Old and New Testament, as well as the history of the Hebrew Bible and the foundations of its existence all in one 15-week semester. Not an easy task my friends. Not only has Dr. Holleyman taught this class, as well as many others, absolutely incredibly, but he has also put up with my many questions over the last few weeks. And I must say, he has certainly put me in my place when I needed it most. And not a bitter put in your place, more like a reassurance that no matter how many questions I come up with, he can most certainly provide an answer, even one that doesn’t fulfill the question asked. The most surprising thing Dr. Holleyman has taught me is that sometimes we as humans, and more specifically as believers, are meant to come to terms with the fact that we don’t know. As confusing as this sounds, it was exactly what I needed to hear when it came to the testing of my patience and self-control. Of all the spiritual gifts, I have never expected to desire these as much as I do now in my life, and I pray continually that God could bless me with them. As for Dr. Holleyman’s statement, I pray that we all as humans could rest in the peace that we cannot know or explain everything because we simply were never meant to.

Isaiah 35:10 - "And the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."

I leave you with this verse I came across in an effort to understand praise for the Father with true joy that I have so longed for since I began school at Baylor last Fall. With all of the exciting things happening in the lives of those around me as well as my own, it is easy to rejoice with them and praise our Maker for these blessings. But, as I have encountered, it is not made as easy when life hits a huge bump in the road. God has faithfully led me to understand how much He loves me and how every single one of His promises will not fail to be made true. He paid the price for any and every sin in this world, and He still allows us to choose between Him and this world. If that doesn’t define true love, then I have no idea what will. I know His plan for my life will continue to bring challenges, emptiness, love, faithfulness, and direction and I long to run hard in this race toward Him.

As the Lord spoke to Job in a whirlwind, I know He is speaking to this generation and all believers asking us to move. The question is do we have the patience to let Him move in us. Let us lift our hands and fall on our faces for Him and praise the One who has us all in His hands. For without this knowledge, we would be in a whirlwind of trouble.

‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come^: The old has gone, the new is here!’ -2 Corinthians 5:17

A Year of Reflections

The year 2010 has officially come to an end. I hate to state the obvious, but it seems that the excitement of the dawn of a new decade has been one to challenge many of those around me. My question and what has confused me the most about the excitement for the new year is that how could the year 2011 be so special? No, it’s not just my pessimism talking, but call me crazy when I say that I have watched many people say and do things in the year 2010 that are to be congratulated and recognized. I’ve also sat and watched the same people, as well as many others, continue on in their lives with no real change other than in a physical sense. Now I’m just contradicting myself, aren’t I? What I think I’m trying to say is that if I desire the same things that the people I care about also desire, then the year 2011 will definitely have to be different in order to shine like 2010. Although I’m not quite sure how yet, I have a few ideas that might suffice.

For now, I’d like to remember some monumental moments in my personal life over the past year, for I know these same moments affected many other than myself.

Godspell- Most certainly one of my favorite memories of high school. Meeting some incredibly talented people is one thing, but to be able to combine with their God-given talents to create a beautiful and comical piece of art is a blessing I’m still not sure I deserved. Every single person involved will forever have a memory ingrained in my heart, which is more than I can say about most things in my life. I still struggle with every bit of that play, and for the most part I have learned to think about it when I want a good laugh to myself or even a simple reminder as to why I auditioned for it in the first place. Godspell put what I believe into such a strange perspective and I wrestled with it for months, but God used that play full of us crazy high schoolers to teach me that acting like I know who God is and what He has done for me and truly knowing God are very different things. Godspell also allowed for me to step back into my lost childhood dream of acting. (I guess all of my re-interpretations of Pocahontas as a child were not put to waste.) I appreciate any sort of actor much more now than before, and I must say I understand why professionals are paid as well as they are. It is crazy to think that the God who designed all of creation could be praised in such a way as this play. All in all Godspell will remain as one of the recollections that I will most certainly tell my children one day when they ask what kinds of shenanigans I entered into during high school. I also most certainly will NOT sing “Day By Day” ever again… ☺

TMEA All-State- One of my greatest goals, finally accomplished. Looking back, it is definitely one of the best examples of my life of never giving up on something you are passionate about. I’m still not sure why I cared so much about this singing competition and its grueling rehearsals and hours of sitting in a room with hundreds of other students who are prepared to sing the exact same pieces of music as you are. But I suppose it all comes with the territory of fully committing to a lifestyle as a choir nerd. And I am so very thankful for God instilling in me the drive it took to achieve what once felt like a far-fetched goal. The experience at the actual convention was absolutely incredible and I know that I will never receive an opportunity like that again in my life. So to anyone who ever wishes to participate in this unique competition I say-DO IT! It is totally worth it in the end.

Graduation- One of the days that I honestly can’t believe came and went as quickly as it did. It was almost as if I had built up in my mind this monumental day in my life, but it felt like the commencement of what my heart had been so ready for 8 long months so it was almost a day of relief. Okay, so I’m a little dramatic when it comes to wanting my senior year of high school to end, but seriously you’d have thought each graduate would receive fireworks spelling out our names for all the hype this ceremony was receiving. Yes the fireworks for the Centennial Celebration for the 100th graduating class were lovely, but somehow crying with all of my fellow choir-nerd friends as we sang the Benediction one last time was much more memorable than crossing the stage and being handed a fake diploma. I prayed throughout the entire ceremony for the students who crossed the stage, knowing that God has a special plan for all of their lives. But, when it was all over and I had cried my last tear, I was excited for the summer to begin and for all of my friends’ lives to disperse and make the world diversely great like I know it was intended to be. I am thankful for all of my family who attended the very long ceremony and, like all monumental memories, I will never forget it.

Trips to New Mexico- For some odd reason both of the church youth choir and high school mission trips to this very under-appreciated state really messed with my heart. The first trip to Gallup and then to Albuquerque with the youth choir was not what I expected, in a very good way. We had the chance to meet and help people who dedicated their lives to follow the will of the Lord. I will admit, I was a bit skeptical about this particular trip because what do you hear about the people of New Mexico really? But I left wondering if I would ever fully understand the people who live in that truly beautiful state, and praying that someday my path could cross with theirs once again. Little did I know that my heading back to New Mexico a few short weeks after the youth choir trip would mean an even greater growth of compassion and meaning of that state in my life. A group of about 35 of us high schoolers and adult leaders headed to Santa Fe near the end of July to work with an amazing group of men who pastor and have placed their hearts into Blaze Christian church in the city. Absolutely amazing is just a small way to describe how I felt as I was there with our group who basically re-painted the entire church in less than 3 days. Not only that but we did it with the combined efforts of the small church staff-who are incredibly faithful and Godly men I must add. Santa Fe has always had a special place in my heart, and during those moments of stress and fatigue in that church, I almost saw a glimpse as to why. I know it all sounds crazy and confusing now but there is something brewing between God and myself for that very beautiful and spiritually dark city. I must say another great aspect of that trip was the time spent at the Glorieta campsite, which is about 20 miles from Santa Fe. We stayed there in a church cabin, ate at the dining hall, shoveled mud in the rain from behind a house set on a hill, and made so many memories that will perhaps never fade from my mind. Although these two week long trips may not have seemed impact-ful at the time, the Lord thankfully kept them in my heart and on my mind long enough to realize that while I thought I was given the opportunity to bless others, they were in turn blessing me. So thank you Blaze staff and Gallup community for teaching me the most important lesson: Giving yourself won’t ever be enough until what you’re giving of yourself is God’s love.

Completion of my first semester of college- Can I just say, thank you to everyone who lied when telling me that college is the greatest time of your life. Well, okay, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. I enjoyed my classes, which is rare to hear a student say, and I honestly am anxious to learn more about the wonderful complexity that is music. College is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries I have encountered in my very short-lived life; A mystery that I have prayed and begged for strong-will to figure out within the next three and a half years. Moving away was not easy; neither was making friends and finding a place that even remotely felt like home. But I would not have had my first semester been any other way. Looking back, I almost enjoyed the moments when I felt at my worst because that meant that every other moment had the potential to be made better. It grew me, in a sense. In most certainty it grew me closer to the always faithful Father who gave me every blessing of a friendship and quiet moment during those four months. He remained the One who I talked to and could rely on to listen day in and day out. He also knew me through and through when I felt like there was not one person around me who had any idea what I was saying or thinking. God truly became what I had always confessed Him to be, which is my best friend. And that is where I want Him to stay. He blessed my life by allowing me to meet and build relationships-however small they are- with some incredibly amazing people. And I know that this next semester will only provide me with more of those opportunities.

These are just a taste of the hundreds of memories I wish to write down on paper about the year 2010, but I am certain if I continued on for much longer no one would wish to read this blog ever again. So for now I leave a short paragraph with my goals and “resolutions” for this blessed New Year:

I intend whole-heartedly to live every moment with an attitude of servanthood and selflessness. Kind of a scary-bold statement, to be honest. How I am going to accomplish this, I am still not sure. But after many hours of praying, thinking and dwelling on who this complex young woman is that the Lord wants me to be, I am most certain that sacrificing myself for His sake is up there on the list. I wish I could explain exactly what this selflessness intends to look like, but of that I cannot be sure. I just know that I have missed many opportunities to grow as a believer because my life seemed more important at the time. No doubt I will continue to work hard in school and delve into one of my greatest passions that is music, but I know now that is just one part of what God has planned for me. So in these next upcoming blogs, I hope to write a few less “I”, “me”, and “my” and a few more of who God is and how He has revealed Himself into my life and to those around me. I also intend to explore how my body and mind can combine in a healthful sense to be made better. I can only be as useful as I allow myself to be, and by being lazy I know a difference I wish to see cannot be accomplished. I hope and pray to look back at the year 2011 and have too many monumental memories to recount as I have had in the year 2010. But for now I leave you with this photo that speaks more to me than the past 1862 words of this blog have before it.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Wow. It is really hard to believe that I haven't written on this in over a year. Why? Because there were so many things to write about in the past year and three months. Maybe it was my busy-ness that kept me from it. Or maybe it was that I just wasn't thinking as profoundly as I ought to have been. Nevertheless, I am a big college Freshman now, so I decided it's time to regather my thoughts and collect them in one collaborative blog, worthy of many other thoughts and criticisms by its very few readers.
To kick off this new recollection of thoughts I begin with one of my favorite hymns:

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-
Great is Thy faithfulness! Lord, unto me!


Great is Thy faithfulness.- Four of the most promising and declarative words in the English language. This hymn, written in 1923 by Thomas O. Chisholm and composed by William M. Runyan, is perhaps one of the greatest examples of excellence and hope through literature and musical composition. The text, based on Lamentations 3:22-23, declares that the Lord's faithfulness lasts throughout all layers of life and the difficulties it brings. Of course, I have a certain bias for the text since it is strongly what I believe and live for every day. But I have to think that everyone, at some point in another in life, wants to hear the words that someone is faithful to them day in and day out.

In my own walk of life, I have struggled and battled things I never would have dreamt possible. Yet, I have been blessed beyond measure by things that a lot of other people do not have, and possibly never will. What this text means to me is that I can rejoice in every situation merely for the fact that I know my God is faithful to me every single second. The problem is, I don't.

Let's take for example the line in the chorus: "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided."
Does this mean that every single thing I have needed from the moment I was made in my Mother's womb to the last breath I took just one second ago was necessary and provided for me by my Father in Heaven? Well of course the answer is yes. However, what I know God says I need and what I think I need are very separate and very secular things. My world now is a spinning cyclone of new people, new ideas, new places, new blessings, new struggles, and new things I can't even begin to describe. All of these new things have thrown off my "norm"-to say the least-and have forced me to cling to what I know and believe more than ever.

Maybe that's what Chisholm meant as he wrote the words to this glorious hymn. That no matter what area of life you are entering into, God is the same God through and through and will not change no matter how much the world around you is changing. His new mercies every morning, provided through His everlasting love and grace through His sacrifice on the Cross, will not move from their foundational love. I am encouraged that the man who wrote these words was also suffering through a difficult time in his life. I only seek to find those who are suffering through what I am so that we may share in our sufferings together.

Scripture is filled with promises and devotion from the Lord, but sometimes I can't help but feel a little lost from His sight. I am confident though that He is always right beside me, ready for me to reach for Him and His love. I can cling to Him every lonely morning, every long afternoon, and every stressful night. I can cling to Him in every bountiful step, every moment of laughter, every tear-filled sob, every song of delight, and every moment of complete silence. It is in each of these moments that I am clear in His sight and can claim Him as my own.

Great is my Father's faithfulness. He does not change, whether in love or compassion. He will stay this way, as He always has and always will. Great is my Father's faithfulness. Every day I am overwhelmed by His mercy. Every thing I need, He gives me. Great is His faithfulness to me.

Knowing all of this is to know God. Of this I am certain. No I am not fully righteous in His sight, yet I know that as I face obstacles and ask for Him to reveal His character to me then I can be made righteous. Self-sacrifice is being made easier as I am walking through this wreck of a life now, but I know I will reach the day when that will once again be extremely difficult. I have nothing else to give but myself though. With this I can praise Him with all of creation and rest in the glory of His fulfillment and peace.

Know that as I write this I am hoping to not only inform but to teach of what I have learned in the past two months alone. If God has shaped me in this way in only two months, then I can only begin to imagine how He can shape a person in two years. I am praying for my life and the lives of all those who believe to not be left as clanging cymbals, but as instruments fully in tune to His melody.

Great is the Lord's faithfulness. Of this we are made faithful to Him.

Beauty in Servanthood

Beautiful things in life come in many different forms. Beauty is most referred to be found in people's appearances, nature, and physical aspects of life. One thing many forget about is the beauty of one's heart, which is where true beauty is found.(John 7:24) Examining the inner-self is one of the most difficult things to do because one finds that it is filled with the sinful nature we were born with, (thanks Eve). As a Christian, I am called to defy ever sinful temptation and stand up and act upon what the Word of the Lord calls me to do. All Christians must act as disciples and preach the Word of God, but also shine as lights with the true beauty we all possess to love on one another and non-believers just as Christ loves us.

All of that is a lot to take in. Simple?-yes; Difficult?-only if you make it. Thank you Bryan, Karina, and Austin for making my idiot mind finally realize exactly what I've been missing about Christian life for 17 years. It has been in front of my face the whole time, I just couldn't let myself see clearly enough to figure that out. Serving this summer has been like no other way of serving I've experienced before. I've learned exactly what it means to serve: love God, and love others. Praise God that I finally registered that! How have I missed that, I have no honest idea. God just meant for this to be the time and place for my heart to finally truly desire all of what He asks me and all Christians to be. So now that the lightbulb has finally gone off, I have to admit the nervous emotions I now possess. What if I can't be selfless enough to complete the tasks at hand? What if I become sucked back into the routine I've been used to and I refuse to let my priorities be different? What if I lack the preparation of my heart to be able to do even a teensy bit of what I'm called to do?

To all of those questions and the many more I have, I know God is saying "Forget them and do as I say." Being a true servant of the Lord requires all of that and much more, and I just want to officially have the faith and perserverance to let God take me and use me. I don't care where anymore, I don't care how anymore, and I really don't care when. I just want to be used. So I'm saying to you readers that this blog is a special one for today. It's more of a prayer and presentation of how I am changing my heart to be closer to where it needs to be. Am I certain I can do everything the Lord wants for me?-no; Does that mean that I'll stop believing and give up the faith to try and finish them?-no; Will I finally ground my heart and mind in the Word and speak to the one who is dying to hear from me everyday because He sent His Son to die for me?-Absolutely and positively yes!

An amazing month this has been, and I'm looking forward to making this year one of the best of my life. I'll be praying that it doesn't stop after this year, and that I desire and grow even more towards Jesus for I know that He will never fail me. And He is the most beautiful thing I find in my inner self. That beauty is exactly what I want to find. Will you let that be the same for you?

Jon and Kate

So it's interesting to me how people react to other people's decisions. Sometimes it's exactly how we expect them to react, and sometimes it's exactly the opposite. When and how do we draw the line on what to think and say about others' actions? And do we even have a say in others' lives?

On a sad episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 last night, Jon and Kate openly admitted to their as-of-yesterday divorce. Heartbreaking is the only thing that comes to my mind. If only they would've listened to exactly what God wants for them, which I'm certain was not divorce, and openly admit on camera as they have every other detail of their life that God's plan was the only plan for them. Do I think their decision was wrong?-No. Do I think they could have made a better decision and worked things out if for nothing but the sake of their kids?-Yes. Should I really have a say in their lives?-Absolutely not. Will I continue to pray for their family in hopes that this one decision doesn't ruin even one person in that family?-Absolutely yes.

It's just frustrating to me how a family so blessed as that can let the single and beginning source of that entire family diminish as if nothing would be wrong. To state my side, I side and grieve with Kate who basically has been left with most responsibility for the kids, and who Jon is blaming for the split, which clearly is both of their fault. I guess I'm just frustrated watching such a beautiful, once Godly marriage and family fall to pieces because of immaturity and frustration.

I suppose it will never be my place to say exactly how I feel about this very open relationship of Jon and Kate, first because I have no part in their relationship, second because I would now be extremely hypocritical, and third because unlike what another blog I wrote states, judgment of others is completely wrong, impossible to avoid, but very wrong. I possibly will never fully figure out life as hard and as surely as I try to. One reason being that I am simply a teenager who lets her emotions get ahead of her logic. Another being that if I do figure everything out, I would be a sad and depressed human. I don't like being judged and perceived a certain way by others, so I'm doing my best to not do the same to them.

It's difficult balancing this now hectic world, and finding balance seems almost impossible in most points of life. I need friends, family, obligations, plans, God, and music to fill every part of me, which I don't always fill. At this point I'm taking life one day at a time, praising God for allowing me one more day, and making the most of what I have. Because if Job can do it, I can. If David can do it, I can. If Paul can do it, I can. I can make it through anything. (Phil. 4:13) If only Jon and Kate could remember that.

I leave you with a special re-cap of what Jon and Kate once spoke of their love and life story together, with a reminder to anyone who decides to let go of something they once held close to their heart to leave it completely in God's hands and move forward with their lives. Here's to Jon and Kate, the parents of a very blessed family and to people who are like myself finding a new place in their life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU-R0R9PZR8

In the back of my mind, but the front of my heart

So I've never officially been torn between two things badly enough that it makes my stomach ache. But then again, I've never really been torn between two things that were life altering before. How do people figure out what they really want out of life? I know the best thing is always prayer, but I guess my impatient personality just can't always handle the wait for God's guidance. So how do I decide between what my heart is telling me to go for, but my mind is telling me to hold back?

Example: I read an article in the New York Times the other day about a banker who had lost his job because of the economy a few months ago. In his recently acquired spare time he took up a lost art that he had given up during college in order to pursue his "get rich quick" and "fabulous lifestyle" of a finance researcher.(Ironic much?) This lost art that he re-discovered during this period of unemployment was a dream that he gave up in order to secure his future.(Ironic...again) Turns out the guy was an undiscovered pianist who had the mind of a genius when it came to theory and any sort of music history. He is now playing for a show that is to open in the fall at the Metropolitan Opera.

As encouraging and as inspirational a story like this is, real life doesn't always happen like that. Okay so maybe I am being a sort of Debbie-Downer, but realistically how often do things like this really happen? So if you possess an amazing talent with potential to be something great, should you take it and pray that God's plan for you entitles what you hope it does, or do you take the safer route and choose a secure plan for your life filled with opportunities to change the course if ever need be?

Yea, yea I know how dumb this sounds coming from a 17 year old high school student with plenty of years left ahead of her, but honestly life is short and I am blessed enough to be given opportunities like I never dreamed of being offered, so how can you blame me for wanting to take them? Maybe someday(hopefully soon, God :) ) I will figure out exactly what my purpose,(as far as a career or lifestyle goes), really is and I can be comfortable. Then again, as a Christian I am never to truly be comfortable.

So in all of this very vague and confusing rambling, I still ask the difficult question: How do I know exactly what to do when life requires me to make a decision?
And I would hope every answer to that would be: "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you."-Matthew 7:7
Or some answer close to that. :)

In the meantime, I will continue to pray and be torn between my logic and my romantic aspects of my personality. Because I never can listen to either one or the other. Darn Mrs. Baxter for making my thinking never being the same again! That's just complex me though. Complex Emily. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?